I have so much blog catching up to do that it overwhelms my already bulging at the seams mom brain. That being said, I will take a break from posting about our exciting and less than exciting life events to plop down some thoughts onto paper before I forget them. I suffer like many from that sort of OCD perfectionist tendency that keeps you from sleeping at night and find myself always looking for the "best" and "perfect" way to do things. I know that both of those terms are entirely relative so I am meaning "best" and "perfect" as it pertains to me and my family and our situation.
I was brought up in a VERY traditional family. I love traditions, I think there is a great deal of comfort in tradition, but sometimes I think that when people are too locked into tradition they don't open themselves up for change that brings new opportunities. Change has become something I am pretty darn good at. 5 years ago I would have never thought that my parents would divorce and that I would move to England. Never. Not even an inkling of a thought. But as it turns out the world kept turning and I didn't die, despite the days that I thought someone would find me drowned in a puddle of tears.
The fact of the matter is that I have been blessed this year with a better ability to look at my life objectively. As I am raising two young kids I am amazed by the things that come out of my mouth to teach them important principles that are equally relevant to my situation. For example, when Ads had her gymnastics meet we taught her that in life there will ALWAYS be someone better than you and there will ALWAYS be someone worse, so just be grateful for what you can do. I have found myself thinking about this in a sense of family and life circumstances in that there will always be people who have more things and happier parents and there are people who have much less and have much more miserable parents, so just be grateful for the good moments you have.
I have ranted before about the "It could be worse" people out there who LOVE to minimise your pain by showing you just how much worse your life could be, which is usually involves a story about them and how many more hours their husband works, or little money he makes, or days he travels out of town causing them to be a single mom all concluding with your need to feel sorry for or gain an admiration for the other person and their situation. Of course these people always leave you feeling worse than you felt before. Let's face it we ALL know it could be worse, but sometimes we just need that friend to say "how do you do it? You are an amazing woman!" I have become better at weeding the "it could be worse"-ers out of my life.
I know that everyone has their cross to bear. All of us. As I have observed people trudge along through their personal struggles I have looked at myself long and hard in the mirror and as I have taken on my different crosses to bear and thought to myself am I going to do this with dignity and grace or am I going to be a miserable sod? I think that perhaps at one point in my life I would have been a miserable sod and made life painful for those who are around me, but instead I have learnt that there is a much greater strength and power in handling our challenges with optimism, hope, and gratitude for what we have.
As this New Year approaches I am determined to strap on those running shoes and pound the pavement
with a prayer of gratitude in my heart determined to make the most out of my life experiences. Some people find joy in misery and secretly or openly desire other people to feel miserable too, but I refuse to let this happen to me. Life is short and we have 1 go at it. This year 2013 is going to be the year for change, change in the way I see things, adventures, opportunities, traditions, and the way I am able to show empathy to people in their struggles. 2013 is going to be filled with inspiring people, 2013 is going to be filled with new idea's, 2013 is going to be filled with new opportunities to grow, 2013 is going to be filled with good runs, good food, good family, good books, and more opportunities to look objectively at my life and see the smallest blessings in every aspect of my days, hours, minutes, seconds, and breaths.
2013, you are mine.
