10. After a horrible 7 1/2 month pregnancy your lung capacity is the size of a dehydrated pea and your girth is competing with Shamu.
9. Your spandex has stretched to maximum capacity looking like you're going to pull an "Incredible Hulk" at any moment.
8. 65 yr. old men in booty shorts jog past you shouting out words of encouragement.
7. While running, your metabolism is overworked refusing to digest your buffet of carb loaded foods from dinner the night before.
6. Your wee metatarsals can barely sustain the weight of your voluptuous figure for 2hrs. and 40min.
5. Your toe nails want to leap off of your toes rather than experience the agony of having you heave each step squishing them forward to a purple and black death.
4. People drive past you with sympathetic stares thinking "it's about time you got a move on it."
3. Tribes of six pack sporting chicks jog past you forcing you onto the sidewalk because you don't deserve the road.
2. Even the spandex can't keep your thighs from chaffing.
1. Zero amount of tie dye wearing can disguise the muffin top and jelly roll bouncing around with each agonizing step.
Seriously, running 16 miles nearly killed me! I look just fine for a person walking around in society, but for someone trying to run a marathon....not so much. I definitely have a few pounds I need to shed in order to make this easier. The thought of having to run 10.2 more miles makes me want to jump from the highest building I can find. 26.2 is hard enough, but carrying an extra 10 lbs. is super hard. I have six weeks to go, so hopefully things will pick up here. If not, I will have a slow race. I will finish, but not beating my last time. Fingers crossed.
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