Valentines Conspiracy Theory

Hi my name is ASHLEY and I am a sugarholic. For those of you who thought Valentines Day was a holiday designed to express love and appreciation for the people you most value in your lives, I hate to tell you that you have been tricked. Valentines Day was actually a holiday created by Dentists and Weight Watchers to increase their business. I jest not! It isn't "single awareness day" or "hate my horrible life day" oh no, it is gain 5 pds. and get 5 cavities day. Ever been to your Dentist on Valentines? I guarentee he is smiling, just like the nice receptionist who hears the register ringing as you walk through the door of weight watchers the day after Valentines when you can barely cinch up the waist of your pants. Oh yes, it is a scheme to make money and damage self-esteem. Speaking of damaging self-esteem, as previously stated I am a sugarholic, always have been and probably always will be. My addiction to sugar is so bad that the last time I was in New York City I had to go to "Dylan's" candy store. for those of you who are exceptionally observant the Statue of Liberty behind me is made out of "Jelly Bellies." It is true, I had my picture taken next to a jelly bean portrait of Lady Liberty. If that isn't a hopeless cause, I don't know what is. With that in mind I am going to open my own sugar rehab center called the "Sweet Retreat." Yep, we'll strip your diet of sugars, you'll sweat and shake, hallucinate, blame your parents, draw your self portrait, befriend other sugar freaks like yourself, learn how to eat sugars in moderation, and then we'll send you back out into the world only to revert back to your old ways after a couple of successful months. But so is life, we win some and we lose some, or in my case we gain some and we lose some. With that being said, I hope everyone had a glorious Valentines Day and didn't make their dentists wallet quite as fat as I made Dr. Flynn's.